I went to my friend Ryan's place for us to get ready to go out together (he's fabulously gay!) and I was just so confident and on top of the world for a while that he was quite amazed at the change in me. Sadly it didn't last and was obviously one of my slightly more drastic mood swings! Once we got to Brighton to meet Sara my mood hit the floor and I spent the rest of the evening fighting to keep my head above water, especially once we'd got a few drinks down us. I can either be a ridiculously hyper happy funny drunk or the complete other end of the scale in extreme, so depressed, crying, and on very rare occasions driven to self harm/feeling suicidal (but i do mean rare)
I have been on a bit of an up and down roller coaster since then to be honest and again on several occasions have been debating whether or not to go to the doctors about it. Perhaps I'm bipolar? I honestly don't know, but on the days/nights (mostly nights) that I feel so terrible that I think about going to the doctors I have usually forgotten about it by the morning!
So I'm plodding along at the moment :) a bit of a rough time which I am sure I will get through ok, but at times it doesnt feel like it.
